Match.com

So, I joined another website.  I've been on OKCupid and EHarmony (OKC and EHarm for short).  I had minor success on OKC as I had a boyfriend for a couple months (the longest relationship I've ever had was 3 months and it was in grade school).  EHarm was just like it sounds...I did EHarm to people.  I dated a couple guys from EHarm who were harmless.  The one who stuck actually called me his girlfriend while we were out but, uh, I wasn't diggin it.  Anyway, back to match...

I've been lucky with the online dating world until Match.com.  I have met 2 creeps on that site and am afraid the disease might be catching on.  The guys I have emailed, have of course, not emailed me back...and they were cuties.  The ones who emailed me, I've taken up on the dates but they were weird.

Dude 1:  Has lived in NYC 6 years now but grew up in Isreal.  I called him an Is Re Al E instead of Is Rail E when I was first describing him to friends (thanks for the correction friend).  He is 41, about to buy an apartment, blah blah.  So since he was considered foreign, I thought his emails were passable.  He would email me things like, "you are too beautiful...I want to watch you watching the snow fall" (in fair away land accent).  I took it as, "Aw, he is a romantic foreigner."  So I go on this date...

We meet at this coffee place I love but he was so distraught with the fact that it had no seats in it to watch me watch the snow that he took me in his arms (just met) and hugs me while saying, "you're kidding right?!" about a million times in my virgin ears.  Ok, so that was a little strange, but again, he is foreign, give him another chance to make it weird.

We walk down the block to a restaurant...o man...forgot to mention...this date is occurring before 10am on a Saturday...

So we walk in, sit down at a table, he pulls out the chair next to him to sit...I say, "Um let's not take up 2 tables." and he says, "But I wanted to watch you watch the snow".  So he WAS serious. Hahaha.

Anyway we start chatting and eating.  He uses sarcasm in a way that was borderline cruel.  Chews with mouth open.  Talks with mouth open.  I'm starting to be annoyed.  He seems nice enough but during the exchange I hint that I'm very busy today and need to go home after brunch.  He asks what I am doing and I say, "the gym".  He says, "You go to gym all afternoon?" (accent).  I say "On the weekends."  He starts getting uncomfortable and sad so I said, I could still hang a little longer.  So we make plans to go get coffee somewhere since we still haven't had any because the place we were at did not have half and half (he only drinks coffee with it).  He pays the bill thankfully and we walk down the stree where he takes my hand.  We get to the place and he insists I sit next to him.  We start chatting, he holds my hand, asks why it is so sweaty and puts it on his thigh.  He pulls my hair from my face, hugs me....it was too much...hahaha.  Done.

Dude 2:  Seemed nice enough...30yo male, cute, but mentioned he only wanted to "keep it casual" which I took to mean, go on dates but nothing serious.  He meant, go home with you after date, casual.  I did not realize his definition until we are both at the bar I picked out with half priced bottles of wine.  We get one.  He starts gulping his down, reaches across the table, and proceeds to rub my back.  Are you imagining this now?  He is reaching that far across the table to rub my back after meeting him mere (?) seconds ago.  Hold up.  I ask him what's his intention as he gulps more wine and begins to refill both our glasses before they even reach half full (never half empty girls), and he says he intended to sleep with me tonight.  Before all this we were chatting about non-meaningful things.  Once I say that's not gonna happen, instead of leaving, he proceeds to tell me about his ex and how he is still in love with her and asking for my advice which I gladly give.  So I think, ok maybe this guy isn't so creepy after all if he still wants to stay and talk and stop rubbing my back.  But then he wants me to break the hoe code and intro him to my friends.  Sorry dude...you aren't going to take out your sexual frustrations on my awesome, relationship worthy, girls.

So far, that has been the extent of my experience with match...not so good.  Glad I only signed up for a month!